Let Them… While You Focus on Reclaiming You

Will Douglas
Jul 29
3 min read

At some point after 40, you realise you’ve spent most of your adult life trying to manage other people’s opinions. Explaining your choices. Justifying your routines. Worrying about how you come across. You clean up your diet and someone calls it “extreme.” You train hard and they ask, “What are you trying to prove?” You commit to real change, and suddenly, everyone’s an expert on what you should be doing.

Let them!

What “Let Them” Really Means

Made popular by Mel Robbins, this simple mindset shift cuts deep:

Stop pouring fuel into controlling opinions.Redirect that fuel into building your own damn life.

Let them doubt you.
Let them walk away.
Let them underestimate you.
Let them talk.
Let them live their lives, so you can fully live yours.

Then turn that reclaimed energy, that raw, IDGAF power into every set, every meal prep, every morning alarm.

“Stop wasting energy trying to control other people’s opinions. Let them think what they want, and put your focus where it counts: on you.”

Here’s the book

Key Principles of the “Let Them” Theory

Acceptance of Others’ Autonomy: Recognize that you cannot control others’ behaviors or decisions. Accepting this can lead to reduced anxiety and a more peaceful state of mind.
Focus on Self-Response: Instead of reacting to others’ actions, concentrate on how you respond. This shift promotes emotional resilience and personal growth.
Setting Healthy Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being, ensuring that you do not tolerate harmful behavior under the guise of “letting them”.
Complementary “Let Me” Concept: Alongside “let them,” Robbins introduces the idea of “let me,” emphasizing proactive self-management and the importance of taking responsibility for one’s own actions and choices.

Putting It Into Practice (Without Being a Jerk)

This mindset isn’t about being rude, reckless, or selfish. It’s not “screw everyone.”

It’s “respectfully disengage from what’s not yours to carry.” Here’s how that looks in real life:

🔹 1. The Work Scenario

You’ve delivered the plan. You’ve shared the insight. Someone wants to keep dragging it out, replying all on email, so they can be heard and clearly haven’t understood the plan or care to read the detail. Or worse still, make a stupid decision against the plan.

Let them.

You’ve done your part. Now walk away, don’t reply all to put them back in their box. If they choose to disregard the information and make a stuoid decision, let them. IDGAF.

Invest that energy into something that moves your needle, like getting to the gym with a clear head instead of replaying the conversation in your mind for hours.

🔹 2. The Family/Friends Scenario

You’ve started saying no to weekend drinks or late-night takeout because you’re focused on your goals. Someone close drops the guilt trip: “You’ve changed. You’re not fun anymore.”

Let them.

You have changed and that’s the damn point. You’re not here to live the same year on repeat for the next 20. You’re reclaiming your edge, not asking permission. If someone close to you doesn’t value your changes and investment in yourself, let them. IDGAF.

🔹 3. The Appearance/Social Media Scenario

You post a gym pic or show up with a leaner frame, and someone rolls their eyes or says, “Bit full of yourself, aren’t you?”

Let them.

That moment they’re judging you? You’re five reps into the next set. You don’t need to dim your progress just to make someone else feel more comfortable staying the same.